Choice & Control Goes Both Ways

Let’s talk about something we usually only discuss privately, over coffee, in the car after a shift, or occasionally over a glass or two (maybe a bottle) of wine with other providers.

Dodgy providers get talked about a lot, and rightly so. Every other week there’s a new story, a new post, or a new “exposé”. Social media lights up, the sector shakes its head, and sometimes the media jumps in too. And honestly, when I read those stories, I cringe as well, because people doing the wrong thing in this industry should be called out. This is not a sector for quick money, and those who treat it that way shouldn’t be here.

But there’s another side we rarely talk about publicly.

Dodgy clients and stakeholders.

Yes… I said it.

When I first started my business, I never believed this existed. Back in the block-funded days I had never experienced anything like it. Then my very first client taught me a lesson I wasn’t prepared for. It didn’t take long to realise she wasn’t just stretching the system, she was using it. There were others involved and she was running her own little arrangement on the side using her supports.

And there I was, brand new provider, wanting to do the right thing, feeling uncomfortable but unsure whether I was allowed to say no.

Eventually I did.

Yes, she was my first client.
No, I was not tolerating that behaviour.

I think many providers have similar stories. We just don’t post about them online.

Providers are often burnt out not only from navigating a complicated system, but from managing behaviours that cross boundaries, unpaid services, manipulation, pressure, or being emotionally held hostage because we care. I’m a huge advocate for choice and control and quality supports, but choice and control doesn’t mean providers lose theirs.

Healthy support relationships go both ways.

If we deliver services, we need to be paid.
If expectations are set, they need to be respected.
If something feels wrong, we are allowed to step back.

There’s also another reality we don’t talk about enough, safety!!!!! Sometimes the challenge isn’t just difficult conversations or unrealistic expectations. Support workers experience verbal abuse, intimidation, and at times physical harm, yet they still turn up because they genuinely care. We’ve all seen the heartbreaking stories in the news where workers have been seriously injured, even killed, while simply doing their job. Providers then carry the responsibility of supporting staff, reviewing risks, and figuring out how services can continue safely.

And all of this happens while the NDIS itself keeps changing. New rules, new expectations, new processes and providers are often the ones adapting quickly, picking up the pieces so supports don’t fall apart for participants.

This isn’t about turning this into a complaining session. It’s about acknowledging the full picture so we can make the ecosystem better.

Now let’s talk about stakeholders, you know the ones. The mysterious meetings you weren’t invited to but are somehow responsible for implementing afterwards. The emails unanswered for two weeks but requiring urgent action once they reply. The expectation that you’ll magically know information no one has shared.

Honestly… why?

We’re all here for the same goal, better outcomes for participants. Collaboration works better than secret squirrel business. Communication solves most problems before they become problems.

If you’re reading this and thinking “yep, I’ve lived that,” you are not alone.

Ethical practice doesn’t only apply to providers. It applies to everyone in the ecosystem, providers, participants, and stakeholders alike. Respect, communication, accountability, and safety protect everyone.

Sometimes the most ethical thing a provider can do… is say no.

Because good services come from healthy relationships, not one-way ones.

In a healthy NDIS, choice and control doesn’t belong to just one side.

Choice and control goes both ways.